The Pendulum: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Novus Ordo

Okay, it's been one of those nights. I couldn't sleep so I spent a certain amount of time lying in the dark, wallowing in regret and shame (hey, I'm Catholic). Then I punished myself with work (curriculum for the fall. I'm a teacher). Then I started drinking. Finally, two dead soldiers later, I figured: it's time to write the next post.

Anyway (no, keep reading, it gets better), I'm updating some sorry story I wrote years ago about my "reversion", when that was a big thing on the blogosphere. So, I've been in this back-and-forth with "tradition" and the present General Quarters situation of the Church. Off and on, I would steel myself to "only attend the ancient liturgy" in some far off hole twenty miles from my home and ignore my parish, a small, run-down sort of place with banal liturgy at best and the occasional heretic priest just barely escaping the lightning bolts that God must regularly send his direction. And all the ladies in flip-flops serving hors d'oeuvres and wine while the Priest does his Corpus Christi thing. Then, I would feel shame (nothing new there) and go back to my parish until somethingt terrible happened (priests stossing the vessels around, discussing WO - and I ain't talking about Wyoming) and so I would throw a hissy fit and run back to big Latin Mama.

Three dead soldiers. Man, I'm a lightweight. Where did my feet go?

So, now, I am back at my NO parish. And I am keeping the NO Liturgy of the Hours. That's the Divine Office for you Latin massers. Officium Divinum). And I am going to try and stay now. Even when the retired priest comes and talks about Rama and Siva and Kali (I kid. He never mentioned Kali).

You see, (Here comes the shitty, stupid part where I try to make you feel bad about my childhood), (like the extra comma?), I grew up pseudo-half-Catholic and rediscovered the Church in college. It was a pretty liberal Dominican Newman Center set-up but I thought it was all "ancienty" because I grew up on McDonald's and Voltron. So I was pretty fascinated. Later, I learend about Tradition and oooooooooooh how I regret it, not because it's bad but what a rift in my soul. If only I had never known. I was so happy thinking that my bland, saccharine prayers and devotions were so ....old.

So, now I am tyrying the novus ordure thing again. And you know what? I just want to be with a bunch of people from my area, a bunch of catholics, good and bad, and try to get on, in my desperation. And simultaneously, I derive comfort from those sorry, simple books that came out of the seventies. Don't get me wrong. IF it was an election, I would vote LEFebrve everytime. But I grew up with the red vinyl NAB and the ....other stuff. So, now, eveen if I seem to display some sort of "traditio" veneer, remember I sing Haugen songs on Sunday (or Saturday evenings, cbecaus eit's conveneient).