Sunday, November 23, 2008

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Things That Annoy Me III



Today's old people.

When I was a kid, and I met an old man, there were some typical attributes of which I could be fairly certain.

He was probably a war vet, either WWII or Korea. His politics were likely conservative, but in those days that didn't automatically mean Republican. He wore his hair a certain way - usually not a crew cut but neither was it very long. It was likely he smoked and said all sorts of unpolitically correct things, either as jokes or because he just didn't give a rat's ass for what anyone thought about what he said. He liked beer, Sinatra and sports on television.

Nowadays, when I meet "an old person" (now someone separated from me by just one generation rather than two), the encounter is altogether different.

Grandma might have a mohawk (I'm not kidding. I once had a parent/teacher conference with mohawk-grandma). Then there is biker-grandpa, who just did a little time for a little weed. My favorites are the AC/DC parents, still wearing their concert T-shirts, sporting their Nazareth tattoos and their "accident" child ("We don't understand why our daughter is so troubled!" Oh boy, if only I could have been honest.)

I wonder what it is like for my kids. For me, old people were always stodgy curmudgeons who wanted me to watch my manners and keep quiet. Now, they are scary, unpredictable creeps who want to have cybersex or sell you dope. Now it's the older generation that seems loose, leaving me to look like an old man before his time, telling the kids to mind their p's and q's.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Great Quotes IX

The inadequate and biased transmission of news, and the profitable dissemination of nonsense, barred the general public from any intelligent or concerted participation in politics, and made democracy impossible.

- Will Durant, on newspapers of the 17th century, in The Age of Reason Begins

Sound familiar?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Things That Annoy Me II

Motion Activated Towel Dispensers

Was it really so difficult to crank them out? And why do I have to humiliate myself by waving at a machine in return for paper towels?

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Greatest Rock Song Ever


Okay, it's definitely in the top three, anyway. The Rolling Stones' Honky Tonk Women can conceivably compete for the title, as can Led Zeppelin's In My Time of Dying. These are fairly non-partisan statements for me. I am neither a Kansas nor a Stones fan. I don't have any of their albums. Led Zeppelin, on the other hand, is one of my favorites and I have their entire collection.

Now, if you want to suggest some others, let's get the rules clear. Candidate songs must be rock and roll, but that is wide-category. I would, personally, even include the Cure or Country Joe and the Fish. But, it is inappropriate to elect a song merely because you like it. For instance, I love Pink Floyd and have almost all their albums. But I wouldn't even include them in my top five. To be "up there", a song has to have something special that elevates it beyond the group by which it is performed (and Pink Floyd, much as I love them, are always Pink Floyd and their songs are always their songs.)

Now, look at Kansas' Carry On. This song has an energy and a spirit that simply takes it right out of Steve Walsh's and Keri Livgren's hands. Honky Tonk Women is also a good example. There is a guitar lick in that song which is of divine (or diabolic) origin. I refuse to believe that a human composed it without aid. Of course, Zeppelin never wrote any of their great songs, as dozens of impoverished black blues singers could attest, were they still with us.

So, that said, don't nominate a Kiss song. Kiss is rock, sure, but it's a gimmick. No Kiss song has any class. Same goes for hundreds of bands. I will tolerate the candidacy of Warren Zevon's Werewolves of London, though I would never nominate it myself. However, there will be no waxing poetic about his death. Warren Zevon's death (requiescat in pace) was not poetic. Johnny Cash dying - that's poetic. Warren Zevon just died. Stop acting like he was Lord Byron lost at sea and get over it.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I always vote for the loser

First time I vote for a Republican and he loses. The only time I remember voting for a winner was Clinton in 1996. People should pay me to vote for their enemies.

Things That Annoy Me

White guys that call me bro.

I am not your bro.

Black guys can call me bro, but not you.

Let's Go Vote


Saturday, November 1, 2008

Employment Rollercoaster and Alleluia

Last Tuesday I was informed that I had been laid off from my part-time job cleaning offices. There just hasn't been enough tourism to justify my employment.

It meant the loss of about $800/month or basically 10K/year. That's big hit for a guy with a stagnant business and four kids, two of them in private school and a lot of taxes due the government. Basically, last night we had a big Halloween with lots of candy while I sat thinking that some very dark times were coming. The November house payment was suddenly in jeopardy.

Then, my boss called this afternoon and said that the company was going to go with four nights of work each week and he gave me all the nights. That's basically what I was working before, only now I will have to work during the week rather than the weekend, which is hard with having only a few hours of sleep before sending my wife and kids off while I watch the babies on schooldays. But...

I have discovered that there is one thing worse than cleaning offices and restrooms at one o' clock in the morning, and that is being unemployed! So, without further ado, I give thanks where thanks are due.

Te Deum laudamus: te Dominum confitemur.
Te aeternum Patrem omnis terra veneratur.
Tibi omnes Angeli; tibi caeli et universae Potestates;
Tibi Cherubim et Seraphim incessabili voce proclamant:
Sanctus, Sanctus, Sanctus, Dominus Deus Sabaoth.
Pleni sunt caeli et terra maiestatis gloriae tuae.
Te gloriosus Apostolorum chorus,
Te Prophetarum laudabilis numerus,
Te Martyrum candidatus laudat exercitus.
Te per orbem terrarum sancta confitetur Ecclesia,
Patrem immensae maiestatis:
Venerandum tuum verum et unicum Filium;
Sanctum quoque Paraclitum Spiritum.
Tu Rex gloriae, Christe.
Tu Patris sempiternus es Filius.
Tu ad liberandum suscepturus hominem, non horruisti Virginis uterum.
Tu, devicto mortis aculeo, aperuisti credentibus regna caelorum.
Tu ad dexteram Dei sedes, in gloria Patris.
Iudex crederis esse venturus.
Te ergo quaesumus, tuis famulis subveni: quos pretioso sanguine redemisti.
Aeterna fac cum sanctis tuis in gloria numerari.
V. Salvum fac populum tuum, Domine, et benedic hereditati tuae.
R. Et rege eos, et extolle illos usque in aeternum.
V. Per singulos dies benedicimus te.
R. Et laudamus nomen tuum in saeculum, et in saeculum saeculi.
V. Dignare, Domine, die isto sine peccato nos custodire.
R. Miserere nostri, Domine, miserere nostri.
V. Fiat misericordia tua, Domine, super nos, quemadmodum speravimus in te.
R. In te, Domine, speravi: non confundar in aeternum.

O God, we praise Thee, and acknowledge Thee to be the supreme Lord.Everlasting Father, all the earth worships Thee.All the Angels, the heavens and all angelic powers,All the Cherubim and Seraphim, continuously cry to Thee:Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God of Hosts!Heaven and earth are full of the Majesty of Thy glory.The glorious choir of the Apostles,The wonderful company of Prophets,The white-robed army of Martyrs, praise Thee.Holy Church throughout the world acknowledges Thee:The Father of infinite Majesty;Thy adorable, true and only Son;Also the Holy Spirit, the Comforter.O Christ, Thou art the King of glory!Thou art the everlasting Son of the Father.When Thou tookest it upon Thyself to deliver man,Thou didst not disdain the Virgin's womb.Having overcome the sting of death, Thou opened the Kingdom of Heaven to all believers.Thou sitest at the right hand of God in the glory of the Father.We believe that Thou willst come to be our Judge.We, therefore, beg Thee to help Thy servants whom Thou hast redeemed with Thy Precious Blood.Let them be numbered with Thy Saints in everlasting glory.

V. Save Thy people, O Lord, and bless Thy inheritance!
R. Govern them, and raise them up forever.
V. Every day we thank Thee.
R. And we praise Thy Name forever, yes, forever and ever.
V. O Lord, deign to keep us from sin this day.
R. Have mercy on us, O Lord, have mercy on us.
V. Let Thy mercy, O Lord, be upon us, for we have hoped in Thee.
R. O Lord, in Thee I have put my trust; let me never be put to shame.